45″Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
The key to this is desire. We are so lukewarm because we do not desire this pearl. We do not desire the pearl because our hearts are hardened. Therefore, we do not pay the price, because we do not esteem the pearl.
What therefore can we do? I will tell you my story. I desire to desire, but it is as if my whole heart is hard. And Love therefore bounces off this hard rock. Nevertheless there is hidden in a crevice, deep underground, a pool of molten magma, the desire to desire. This is the beginning. So, let us take that, this weak candle, this desire to desire and bring it to Him, knowing that this Heart of molten Love itself can take this meagre reserve – this desperate reaching out from a hardened heart, this small desire to desire – this impossible stretching to the Heart itself, knowing this:
Matthew 12 20A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
Take this smoldering wick, take this weak desire, so often smothered by the cares of the world and the tyranny of time, and transform it. Let this desire to desire blossom into desire itself, that this may then lead us to abandon all that we have for this Pearl of great price, the desire for God Himself – on His terms and not ours.